Look For The Light
by Nightcrawler1
Summary: Garibaldi remembers Jeff on his birthday


Title: Look For The Light  
Author: Nightcrawler  
Fandom: Babylon 5  
Rating: R for M/M slash theme, nothing explicit  
Summary: Garibaldi remembers Jeff on his birthday  
Warnings: Mild M/M theme  
Archive: Yes  
  
  
Look For The Light by Nightcrawler  
  
  
Michael Garibaldi lay in bed, awake but still. He didn't need   
to hear the time to know it was almost five a.m. Like a   
prisoner spending his last night before execution, he   
examined his life and wondered where he had gone wrong.  
  
Tomorrow, today really, was Jeffrey's birthday. Jeff, the   
last person, maybe the only person he had ever trusted.   
Jeff, who not only valued Garibaldi's opinion, but valued   
Garibaldi the man as well. At least Michael had believed   
that, right up until the day he left. Even now, a year later, it   
was hard to deal with the hurt. Even now, when he   
understood why Jeff did what he did, the pain lingered,   
along with self-doubt.   
  
"Time." He called out to the computer.  
  
"Four fifty-eight a.m. Earth Standard time"  
  
Garibaldi got up and showered and shaved. He stared in   
the mirror at his image and felt despair wash over him. His   
life had no purpose, no meaning and nobody really gave a   
crap whether he lived or died. He'd be drinking again soon.   
There wasn't any reason not to. In a way, that made him   
sad. Once his life had been so rich, so full. Jeff had   
understood him, had cared about him in a way no other   
person ever had. His job had given life meaning. But Jeff   
was gone, and so was his job. He could no more work for   
Sheridan then he could for the Shadows.   
  
Michael finished dressing slowly. He picked up his weapon   
and stared hard at it. It would be so easy to just end all this   
agony right now. Who would even care? He looked at the   
weapon longingly but finally told himself, not on Jeff's   
birthday. Tomorrow. He would do that tomorrow.  
  
Leaving his room, he headed for the Zocolo. Today was   
Jeff's birthday. He had promised Michael they would spend   
it together. Now that wasn't possible. The Jeff Michael   
knew no longer existed. The man he had become lived a   
thousand years in the past. They were to have met at the   
Eclipse Café. Michael would go there and keep the   
tradition alive one last time.  
  
He sat sipping the murky black liquid, remembering Jeff.   
He felt a hole inside him from the pain of his leaving. No   
one had ever understood him the way Jeff had. Who would   
take care of him now? Who would look after him? Who   
would love him with the patience and persistence of Jeff?   
Lise? It hadn't taken her long to forget him, had it?  
  
He looked down into his coffee and could see Jeff's image   
as clear as day. His hands started to tremble. As he   
watched the image of Jeff through the dark swirling liquid,   
he heard him say, "Hello, old friend." The cup of coffee fell   
from his trembling hand and spilled across the table. As   
the cup hit the table and splattered, he jumped back from   
the table and backed right into a Minbari he had never met.  
  
A badly shaken Michael looked up to apologize and saw   
Jeff's solemn brown eyes look back at him.  
  
"Hello, old friend" the Minbari greeted him.  
  
"I don't know you," Michael stated accusingly.  
  
"I have only just arrived. Please, allow me to introduce   
myself. I am TuLen."  
  
Just being in this man's presence created a warmth in   
Garibaldi he hadn't felt in a long time. The stranger   
reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Do not   
despair. Your friend is well and sorry he could not be with   
you today. He sent me in his stead."  
  
Michael grabbed him by the neck and pulled him close,   
"Who are you talking about?" he asked heatedly.  
  
The Minbari smiled inscrutably, and continued calmly, "He   
said you will survive this and that which is to come. That   
above all else, you must remember you are a survivor and   
it is one of the lessons you teach the universe, how to   
survive. Do not forget to look for the light."  
  
At that moment, Garibaldi heard someone call his name   
and turned briefly. No one was there. When he looked   
back at the Minbari with Jeff's eyes, he was gone. He   
looked for him briefly, but somehow knew he would not find   
him. Looking for the light, with a smile on his face, Mister   
Garibaldi walked away whistling.   
  
The End  
  



End file.
